He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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