well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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