Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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