That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
