what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
