You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
