lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
