I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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