We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
