i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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