office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
