I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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