I look better un-naked...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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