is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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