idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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