If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
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I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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