yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
