I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize