The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
