there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize