I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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