Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize