Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.

(614): View more from Ohio

Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he breathalyzed me before we had sex.

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(312): View more from Illinois

i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it

(917): View more from New York City

the suitcase or the dildo?

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.

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(614): View more from Ohio

telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.

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(817): View more from Texas

So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here

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(703): View more from Virginia

dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.

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