I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
