Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
