the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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