We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
