i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
