i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
