The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
