Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize