I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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