i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
