when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
