is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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