So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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