At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
