He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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