Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
