hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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