doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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