his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
