I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
