she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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