i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
