I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
