Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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