Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
