I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
