I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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