C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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