I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
