I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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