What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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