So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
