You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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