No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
