well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
