Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
