Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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