Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
