She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
