woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
