a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
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You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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