im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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