I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize