whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
