Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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