Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
