and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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